Winning

ME:  How many laps are you going to do for your Fun Run at school?
GAVIN:  Probably about 40.
ME:  Wow, that's a lot!
GAVIN:  Yeah, I'm probably going to win.  I have to get 1st, 2nd or 3rd place.  All the other places are for losers.  I'm a winner, not a loser.
ME:  Well, ok then.

Ask Daddy

ME: What are you doing?
GAVIN: I'm trying to get my penis to stay down. It's sticking up and I want it down.
ME: You touching it is making it do that, so stop touching it.
GAVIN: Why does it do that?
ME: Ask your daddy.

Good Boy...Sometimes

ME: Did you cut your hair?
GAVIN: No, the lady at the hair place did it.
ME: If I ask God, what will he say?
GAVIN: That I'm sometimes a good boy.

?

ME: You need to start cleaning up.
GAVIN: Ok, Bubba Gump.

So Wrong!

ME: What in the world is that smell?!?!
GAVIN: It was me. I tooted. {{giggle, giggle}}
ME: Good golly, Gavin that is awful!
GAVIN: It does smell really stinky. Something's wrong with me.
ME: No kidding.

Hide Me!

ME: Daddy is on on his way home and he is not happy with your behavior today. He said he would be dealing with that when he gets home.
GAVIN: Was he mad or sad?
ME: Probably both.
GAVIN: Oh no. Hurry! Will you PLEASE hide me?

Bedtime Chatter

Our conversation tonight at bedtime.

GAVIN: Can I sleep with you tonight?
ME: No.
GAVIN: Is Tom the cat and Jerry the mouse?
ME: Yes.
GAVIN: Did you know I have a big head? It's like a pumpkin.
ME: Really?
GAVIN: Are you going to sell me to the gypsies?
ME: Maybe.